Month: July 2014

“No Mama you are wrong”

You hear your child cry. You run to her. You see a tiny wound on her hand. You hold her tightly to your bosom. You feel sad that your child has hurt herself. You give a love filled sweet kiss on her wound and promise that it is going to be alright.

But where will you kiss, to heal the wound you have made in her tiny heart? Are you surprised, perplexed? Don’t think twice. You… only you are responsible for your child’s little disturbances. Because as a parent you are responsible for your child and your child’s emotions.Have you ever tried to understand the pangs of her heart, however small they seem to you? Have you ever tried to wipe out her silent tears, when she hears somebody calling her a darkie, a fatty, a useless thing, a good for nothing, a fighter cock? Do you think these are all trivial things? Think, think from her point of view. Yes, for you and me these are silly simple things. But for your child these are very serious issues which can change the very pattern of her life itself. At this stage her mind is just like a ball of soft clay. You can mould it into any beautiful shape or you can just leave it open to all the atrocoties of life and let it get dried to a lump or a mass with cracks. What is your choice? Yes it is your choice. Bring up a child. is what every parent do. But bringing up a child, retaining all the beauties of her mind, making her cherish each and every single moment of her childhood safely and preciously without any scar, is an oppurtunity that only blessed parents get. It needs real guts to bring up a child, and even more guts to bring her or him up to a beautiful individual. Snatch the opportunity to become a good parent, a good friend and a good guide to youe child at every given chance. Give her or him the freedom to point out that, “ No Mama you are wrong”. Give him/her the strong support from outside to fight and face the world with the strength from within. Give him/her a chance to open up, let the bud bloom in to a flower. Listen patiently to all silly nuances they need to share with you. Remember these so called silly nuances matter a lot to them. As they grow up and as they get ready to leave the safety and warmth of our wings give them a chance to reminicise their life with us, only with those happy moments shared with you. Love them unconditionally; give them a chance to love you unconditionally. For only unconditional love can purify and freshen each single cell in your body and your child’s body making an unconditional bondage between you and your precious treasure.

a mother of two

I am a mother of two, a son, eleven years old and a daughter, seven years old. Even when I immensely enjoy being a mother, a parent to my children, now I do realise the hassles involved in parenting. Now I understand that parenting means not just being a parent. It involves being a mother, a father, a guardian, a teacher, a confidante, a guide, a friend, sometimes a child and don’t know what not !

My little girl confronted me with a question yesterday. ” Amma, what does it mean ‘to care’?” Suddenly I realised that as an adult I am so familiar with the term’ to care’, but I have never asked myself this question . I know that I will not be able to give my girl an immediate explanation. I need to think, think about how to start explaining this to her or any child in a way he or she could comprehend. And I know as parents we all will be facing similar situations, sooner or later. And I think as parents it is always better to think together, to learn together and to grow up together, along with our children. We should learn with our children to see things as they are. To see things as they are, may seem to be simple, but trust me that is the most difficult task which needs a lot of de-conditioning and hard labour. Do not let the baggage of our experiences sink in to the child’s mind. This baggage of our experiences has actually created a screen between ourselves and our children, a screen of emotions, a screen of ideas, a screen of instructions, a screen of conventions, a screen of traditions and above all a screen of our adult ego. We are again making it opaque with a whole lot of explanations and theories. Try to unwrap this layer of our preconceived ideas and notions and help the child see that the screen between us and him is quite transparent.

It will help us to empathise with the child’s senses and emotions, once we are able to unload the burden of our emotions. Give them the freedom to ask questions, we will put our heads together and try to find some satisfactory explanations for them. Let’s try to travel with our children, walk, walk, walk and walk with our children in their pace, in their own tumbling manner, in a direction they lead us to, holding their tiny hands tightly, affectionately to let them feel that “Where ever you go, we are there with you, as a shadow and as a shade” and let them feel happy about it, confident about it.

Remember we too are growing up, growing up with our children.

Colossal Gap in Litrature

Still confused to label him… An orator? Social critic? Writer-turned-philosopher? Or a maverick with unending passion for everything that’s filled with life. But one thing is for sure his death … no one or no thing can fill the colossal gap in the malayalam aksharamala,… his razor sharp weapons … that constantly torpedoed human thought.

The writer, critic and orator, acknowledged for his contributions to Malayalam literary criticism and insights on Indian philosophy, Sukumar Azhikode leaves, leaving behind him the legacy of magical words. A quintessential critic in speech and writing, But his razor-sharp tongue and hard-hitting speeches interlaced with characteristic humour will remain in the memories of many who have heard him at least once. Azhikode’s had been a powerful voice in the intellectual discourse in Kerala. A towering literary figure he never confined himself to scholastic themes alone but kept on boldly expressing his views on each and every aspect of Kerala’s political and social life.

Sukumar Azhikkod

The Cartman Drives His Cart into History

Prof. N.S. Ramaswami
The Cart Man

We were waiting in the lobby of Si properties, Appartments, Vazhuthacaud, along with our cousin Mr Venu gopal the Director of Ashraya, a home for Blessed girl children in Kollam, with great apprehension to meet one of the Management Gurus of India. We saw a man with flowing white beard, walking stick in hand, woolen cap on the head, wearing a kurta and pyjama, walking towards us as if taking a walk on the street. He could be any of those scores of senior citizens taking an evening walk. But a movement on my side suddenly caught my attention, I could feel a movement of reverence in the gesture of my cousin who was a close associate of Dr Ramaswamy. When the man came near us, this feeling of reverence unknowingly caught us like a fever and we then genuinely experienced the charisma of this seemingly simple man Prof.Ramaswamy even before he talked to us.

His smile, the way he talked , the way he looked in to your eyes , the way he asked about your interests and the things you do with child like curiosity and amusement, the way he encouraged your simple endeavourers, the aura of warmth and affection you felt around him…let aside the much spoken about management and humanitarian works he undertakes …are things which one could experience only if one meet the great personality in person. When he talked we felt that his each sentence was packed with information and he owned an unbelievable memory power.A vibrant personality  he could eminate the vibrance and positive energy to others without making any loud claims of doing so, which made him stand apart from the crowd.

His thoughts became his words.
His words became his actions.

His actions became his habits.
His habits became his character.
His character became his destiny.

Prof Ramaswamy’s demise is a great loss to those who are not just management wizards but also are simple goodhearted humans who takes the strides of life with apprehension and who needs a guru, who can guide them to take life as it comes.

We should really thank Mr Venugoplan and Ashraya, his dream come true project for giving us the opportunity to meet this great personality, an enigma wrapped in charishma.

A Happy New Year 2013

The  triumphant moments of elation for India in the year 2012 is blackened by the shocking, abhorrent incident in the country’s capital city, a country known for its truthful valor, a country known for its humanity, a country known for its respect towards women, a country where Vivekananda, Bhagat singh, Mahatma Gandhi and above all Jhansi Rani were born and shaped. That too in  a city which always boasts about its rich culture and deep rooted tradition. Yes we do understand that everything, everything is a farce. This single incident tears away the mask of dignity that the whole country hides itself in. See the true  India which is made ugly by the manhandling of its own politicians, bureaucrats and above all the crime minded citizens. The truth that each and every female in the country should fear her own shadow overshadows the much sung Mother India concept that Indians value in their minds. It is time for us, Indians to take a decision, either you change this hypocrisy of freedom and safety for women or try to change the concept in to chauvinist India.

Prime Minister Manmohan Singh on Saturday condoled the death of the Delhi gang-rape victim and expressed the hope that the entire political class and civil society will set aside narrow sectional interests and agenda to make India a demonstrably safer place to live in.Describing the 23-year-old gang rape victim who died in Singapore as a “brave daughter of India”, President Pranab Mukherjee on Saturday said all steps to bring the perpetrators of this “ghastly crime” to justice should be taken to ensure that her death will not be in vain.Condoling the death, Vice-President Hamid Ansari said, “I am profoundly saddened at the passing away of the young girl, rightly being referred to as India’s daughter”.Condoling the death of the gang-rape victim, Home Minister Sushilkumar Shinde, on Saturday, pledged to strengthen laws to ensure that such incidents are not repeated.Terming the gang-rape of the 23-year-old girl as a “shameful incident” for her as an administrator, Delhi Chief Minister Sheila Dikshit, on Saturday, condoled the death of the victim and said one must ensure that such “ghastly” acts do not happen again.Aren’t they ashamed to condole the death of a budding flower in this country with these senseless, meaningless words and phrases with which they try to show off their crocodile tears without any sense or sensibility. Whom are they trying to protect India from? This is not a first or single incident. Take the example of just this city, New Delhi has been dubbed the “rape capital” of the country, with a rape reported on average every 18 hours, according to police figures. This is just the case of one city. Things are worse in other cities. Will these political leaders who seemingly shed their tears for this girl, be able or will do something strong to safeguard our India and the safety of Indians. I DOUBT, THAT TOO VERY STRONGLY. If that was the case they should have done something years ago. If they are unable to protect this country and its people, they have no right to call themselves our leaders. We will be much better off without them, I am sure.With what mind should we greet each other with A HAPPY NEW YEAR, when we know that its is not and we are in great danger in this country.I don’t feel like celebrating in a country where such heinous crimes go on.DO YOU?